The Wife's 30th Birth-Weekend!

My wife, Bridget, turned 30 this past Friday, and boy, did I get her good! What started out so fun but small turned into an elaborate 3 day adventure! You don't understand how hard it was to not let anything slip during the week. My friends and I tried a couple of times, but luckily, we caught ourselves and were able to give Bridge the surprisiest birthday party ever! (Yes, I made that word up.) Thank you to all the parties involved in helping to plan and participate in such a wonderful weekend. For the low down on the hoe down, check it out here.







(my beautiful bride)

iLog 2009: Days 24 & 25

Day 24: Tuesday
The day started out as usual and ended deep in thought. I honestly don't remember how or why it ended there. I remember thinking that night, "why am I so thoughtful?" I don't remember any conversations or events that would have caused me to be so reflective, but there I was, late at night,...reflective.

We had dinner next door at my parents' house, because my mom is out of town and my dad, not wanting to be a bother, won't ever eat with us unless we tie him up and sit him down to eat. So, we did. And he liked it! (Didn't you?)

Yes, that paragraph revealed something interesting, didn't it? I live right next door to my parents. They live in the same house in which I grew up, and now my family and I live next door. Very cool. Many benefits: free babysitting, pool, cable TV, fun (and sometimes free) meals. This could go on and on. I'm just thankful (as is my wife) that my mom is unlike poor Ray Barone's mom on "Everybody Loves Raymond." I don't think we would've lasted too long had that been the case. Thanks, family, for loving and supporting us the way you do. We love you guys!

Day 25: Wednesday
OK, sappiness over, let's continue. I wrote this in my journal at 4:23 in the morning:

I am deep in thought. I have been since last night. At least, that's the best way for me to describe it. I do not feel sad; I do not feel depressed; I just feel ponderous. (side note: 2Nu song, anybody? Anybody?) I feel like the Holy Spirit is wanting to touch me - move me in some way, but am I hindering it? Oh, God, no! I don't wish to hinder Your spirit's move in my life. - Please, speak to me, Lord, for your child is
here, listening.
- I have read 2 Chronicles 13 & 14 and John 9:13-10:21
- Those who obey the Lord find peace. Obedience leads to peace - not necessarily with our enemies, but peace with God. Oh, Lord, teach me that I may obey your commands.

The two words I got out of this morning were "obey" and "peace". Cool. I encourage you to read those passages to see what the Lord may have for you. Be encouraged.

Soli Deo Gloria

Crossing With the Family

This past Sunday, my wife and I were afforded the opportunity to sing and dance and rap and have fun with our children. My wife wrote a song, I put the music with it, and our oldest two boys carried it. Our little girl decided she wanted in on the fun, too, so she snuck up on stage with us toward the end. All the righteous goodness can be found on the Babione 6 blog. Enjoy!

R.C.

One Thing I Was Made For

note: I know that is not proper English, but that is how the questioned was asked: What's one thing God has made you for?

My wife.

My destiny is accomplished in serving her destiny and the destinies of my children.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. - Ephesians 5:25-33 (NLT)

The cleansing of the woman comes from the death of the man. That sentence is in my notes from the men's retreat. What really does that mean? Well, the husband is to love his wife like Christ loves the church. Christ loved the church so much, he gave his life for it. I am to die for my wife as well. Daily. Put aside my own feelings and comfort and serve my wife's purpose and destiny. Christ was (and is) so deeply in love with the church (his people - not any building) that it cost him his life - a great expense. Another note from my um, notes: deeply in love at my expense. My wife needs to know that I love her and that I would do anything for her. I'd fight for her and die for her. I've got to live for her. I think of the Bryan Adams song, "(Every Thing I Do) I Do It For You".

Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. This is an all out, unselfish, fully committed, undying, unconditional love. He loved the church so much he died for her. He sacrificed for her. So, how do I sacrifice for my wife? The best way to do this is to ask her. "Babe (or Honey, Sweetheart, Pookie, Wife, Woman, Love of my life, Dear, Baby, Sweet potato pie, or any other affectionate name you have for your wife), how can I serve you? How can I help you to be the woman/mother/wife you want to be - that God has designed you to be?" This may take actually talking to your wife. Once she recovers from falling over, you may have to spend some time in prayer with her. Look out, because all this could lead to her fulfilling the scriptures that are written before the above passage:

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. - Ephesians 5:21-24 (NLT)

It starts with the husband. The church didn't submit to Christ first. Christ loved the church and gave himself for her first, then the church's response to that is to submit to him. It's a whole lot easier for a wife to submit to a husband she knows loves her more than anything and seeks to serve her above himself. Now, our fleshly side says that it would be easier to love a wife that's more willing to submit to her husband, but that's not how it works. We love Christ because because he first loved us. The church isn't easy to love, either, you know. She can be short-memoried, ungrateful, selfish, nagging, whining, disloyal, and down right rejecting at times, but Christ loves her. We must take our cue from him.

Listen, you start talking and praying with your wife, doing the dishes without being asked, giving her time alone away from the kids, taking out the trash without being asked, picking up your dirty clothes, and other non-selfish things, then you will find a woman more than willing to submit to you. Reminds me of an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" when Ray was vacuuming some drapes and Debra walks up behind him and says, "You have never been more attractive to me."

In attempting to do this, I have discovered just how selfish I have been around the house. I have found that I pout a lot if I don't really get what I want. I dare say that you will, too. But, pouting is not the way of a son of God. A son of God is loving, generous, and unselfish. Pouting does not fit that description.

Wow. Well. What was going to be a simple little post has turned into a 30 minute lecture on husbands and wives. I started this thing back on Oct. 31st. Oh, well. Bridget, I love you, and God has made me for you. Husbands, you were made for your wife. Let her know that. Be encouraged.

Soli Deo Gloria

A Family Poem

I have a little, 3 bedroom house

With a dog, a girl, 3 boys and a spouse.

We keep the dog outside

Where she likes to bark at all she can find.

But the dog is lame when it comes to sound

When compared with others that are around.

The girl likes to scream and giggle;

Oh, the sight when she starts to wriggle!

Music can really make her go,

And when she dances, she puts on a show!

The boys are older and far more advanced,

But still get grins when they start to dance.

And, oh, the symphony of noise

That comes from a girl and 3 boys!

It's quite a sound you can't ignore,

Even when you close the door.

But when it comes time for bed,

And I get to kiss each little head,

The joy of my family

Resounds throughout eternity!

At last, a word about my spouse:

She is the sweetest sound in all the house!

Instinct

Two Sundays ago, after church, I was standing on the stairs that lead to the balcony of the sanctuary/theater with my youngest son. He was just a few steps up from the floor holding some papers from children's church and his gameboy. His hands were full. Suddenly, my "spider-sense" went off and I turned to see him stumbling down the stairs. However, not being trained on my "spider-sense", I did not react in time to try to catch him. It was like a scene out of the Matrix.

As he stumbled, his feet stayed put on the step they were on, and his knees hit the step below. Then, as he's falling forward, sure to do a face plant into the tiled, lobby floor, he quickly releases everything from his grip and springs his arms forward to catch himself before he hits ground zero! Wow! It was actually pretty cool; like a superman discovering his powers, or something. He stayed there, with legs up on the stairs and hands on the ground holding himself up like a strong ninja move, or something.

I said, "whoa, buddy, are you alright?" He said that he was, and I helped him back up and gave him a high-five for his actions. His papers and gameboy were ok, too. I couldn't believe his wits. He was aware enough to let go of everything in his hands to catch himself and keep from getting hurt. I just knew he was a goner. You know, what 4 year-old kid knows to drop his gameboy and save his hide? I was impressed with his instinct.

A few days later I was driving and heard the Gloria Gaynor song, "I Will Survive". I immediately thought of the episode with my son and his instinct of self-preservation - his instinct to survive. I guess that instinct comes naturally to us. Or, at least, to most of us. Adam and Eve had to develop that instinct after they sinned. One of the first things they did was fix some clothes to hide their nakedness.

Yeah, looking out for "#1" usually comes pretty easily. What's not so easy is looking out for the other guy, or taking care of others. That's more of a pastoral instinct. A pastor is more like a shepherd. He is to care for, feed, protect, and love his sheep. Jesus is the Great Shepherd. This particular instinct came naturally for him. It's not so easy for us. We have that other instinct with which to compete.

A pastoral instinct comes from spending time with God. The more we read his words to us, the more we talk to him in prayer, the more time we spend with him, the more we become like him. While some people are given an extra grace and anointing to pastor, the pastoral instinct is one that, I believe, can be developed in anybody. But like anything else worth having, it takes time and discipline to learn. Some learn it easily; some don't. But, it is the instinct that needs to prevail.

Don't get me wrong. An instinct of self-preservation is important, too. Especially if you're stumbling down some stairs. But, when it comes to dealing with other people, we need to learn to sacrifice a little. Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) If people looked out for their fellow man more than themselves, I believe this world would be a much better place in which to live. Don't you? Let's show the world His love. Let's develop the right instinct.

Be encouraged.

Happy Birthday, Bobo!

My #1 son turned 10 this past Saturday. Wow. He's so old. And he's getting so big. The circumstances surrounding his birth and early years were not so great, but he is my pride and joy. Well, one of them anyway. He is awesome! Below are 10 of my favorite memories from his first 10 years (in chronological order - as best as I remember it)

1. his birthday (born in OKC on September 27, 1998 - I was a very proud dad)



2. it took him forever to sleep through the night (I mean forever - thankfully, we learned from him and had the others sleeping through the night within a few weeks)



3. he once stuck some keys in an electrical socket outside my office in KY (I could hear him hitting the wall with the keys, but didn't think about a socket until he got real quiet before he started crying really loudly)



4. he would pronounce the letter W "double doo!" (he spent a weekend or something with my parents who taught him his letters - that one was his favorite)



5. he loved the American flag (he always shouted "A flag! A flag! A flag!" until we finally acknowledged that he was seeing a flag)



6. he was George Washington in a school "play" (I think it was President's Day or something in either the first or second grade - he read a few lines)



7. he had to have glasses (there was a prophet at our church who was healing some people of eye problems - glasses, etc., he stood for a moment, then sat down and said that he liked his glasses)



8. his violin recital (he's really gifted)



9. playing baseball (he had the highest on base percentage on the team, because he kept walking, and he was a pretty decent second baseman)



10. his prophetic word (wow, what a word spoken over him - if you want to hear it, make your request known in writing and send $1 to.... - just kidding about the dollar, but it's worth hearing, just not on this blog - sorry)

There they are. My wife calls him Bobo on her blog, so we will too. Happy birthday, Bobo! I love you, buddy.

Love Note Day

Today is Love Note Day. So here are a few notes of love:

To my wife:
I love you. I can't describe it any better than that. You are my sunsushine. You make me happy; you can make me mad, but you don't do that very often. You put up with me. God has said that our marriage was a miracle; well, I'm glad it's our miracle. I'm proud of our children. You are a wonderful mother, and you'll only get better. Thank you for 10 1/2 years of marital bliss (most of the time)! I love you.

To my children:
I love you. You guys are the best. From #1 son to baby girl, you are my pride and joy. You are so much fun, and I love coming home to a family excited to see me. Thanks for being so cool! I love you.

To my family ('rents and others):
I love you. Thank you for your love and support throughout my life. Thank you for loving my little family. Thanks for letting us use your pool and cable and internet and sugar and kool aid and Oreos and everything else. You guys are my foundation. I love you.

To my friends:
I love you. Whether you're a new friend or one who's been with me through the permed hair and Speedo stages of life, you are one of my most valued treasures. Thank you for making me laugh, for laughing with me and at me. You are the best. And I'm sure you owe me money. I love you.

To my God:
I love You. You saved my life. You are my rock, my fortress, my provider, my savior, my joy and my strength. You are the Ancient of Days. You are the Alpha and Omega. You are awesome. Thank you for Jesus. Thank you for loving me and forgiving me and bringing me this far. I look forward to continuing our journey together. You are life. I love You.

29 Reasons Why I Love My Wife

in no particular order...

1. she's hot (I seriously could end here)
2. she can sing (you need to hear her)
3. she makes beautiful babies (have you seen our children?)
4. she's a great mother (to 4 kids!)
5. she's a good cook (creamy baked chicken, baby!)
6. she lets me make her laugh (maybe she's just laughing at me)
7. she's desperately in love with Jesus (I'm not jealous)
8. she washes my clothes and cooks my meals (this is a good thing, people)
9. she rearranges our house at least once month (change is good)
10. she's not the neatest painter (seriously, check her clothes and look at the ceiling)
11. she loves to decorate (seriously) (and she's good at it)
12. she sings a lot around the house (see #2)
13. she shows me things only I get to see (and I like what I see)
    
14. let's just call this one an elaboration of #13 (4 kids, natch)
15. she prays for me (Lord knows I need it)
16. she prays with me (important to stand in agreement)
17. she prays with our children (see #4)
18. she likes to watch movies with me (so what if I like "Pride and Prejudice"?)
19. she blogs a lot (check it out here)
20. she talks a lot (this can be a good thing)
21. she likes to make music with me (have you heard some of our songs?)
22. she had the words, "pastor's wife" spoken over her in high school (we were just given the pastoral nod this past weekend) (more on that later)
23. she bought me at my fraternity's date auction (I'll let her tell you what I cost) (she got a good deal)
24. she loves my family (and they love her)
25. she likes to buy things (but only when we have money) (which isn't very often)
26. she likes to buy me things (not as much as I'd like for her to, though)
27. she likes to look pretty for me (I did a "top 5" today on my show - #2 was "women are infinitely more concerned about what they wear then men are; in fact, if you met us at the door naked, you wouldn't hear a complaint from us)
28. she's my Bridy Girl (and my sunsushine)
29. she loves me (I couldn't ask for anything more)

When she turns 30 next year, I'll add another one. I love you, Bridy Girl!