Enter the Fight: Round 2

I know it's been a while. I'm sorry. I've been struggling with a lot of stuff for the past few weeks. Sure, I've been busy, but more than that, I've been trying to get over the fact that I may have really missed something at the men's retreat.

Remember this post? Yeah, well, I thought I had that figured out, too. What I wrote was part of the word the Lord had for me, but it was really more of a personal warning, or a personal call to action: Enter the fight! It was a word for the me entering the men's retreat. And I missed it.

Ron DePriest was great. His messages were stirring, and God was moving, and I really got a lot out of it. Appreciated it. Good stuff. That part was spot on. The rest of the time, well, that's where I feel like I missed it.

Thursday night: I was tired. I'd been up since 4:30, had driven for a little over 2 hours, it was 10 o'clock at night; I was tired. An extremely good friend of mine, Chenson (names have been changed to protect the innocent), and I hadn't eaten, yet. So, we went with Poby to get some dinner. We got back sometime between 11 and 11:30. Quite understandably, I was ready for bed. I had the privilege of rooming with another of my extremely good friends, Poby. However, we had several people come to our room, and after they finally left, Pob and I got our guitars out and actually wrote a song using some words from another song I had and several of our notes from the evening's session. Great stuff! We were up till around 3, I think. Around 6, I get a call from work. I was on the phone twice with them for a total of 45 minutes. Luckily, the first session wasn't until 10, but still, bed late + up early = not a good combo.

Friday: I was tired. Another great session. Poby, Chenson, and I were going to take the afternoon free time to get me registered to vote, get Chenson a GPS for his wife's car, and come back and hang out with the rest of the fellas. Well, we wound up going with Estevie to Guitar Center in OKC. I did get registered to vote, we did get Chenson's GPS, but we got back just in time for dinner. No time spent with other guys (outside my usual "circle of friends"), the pastor, nor the speaker. Not a problem, we still had Friday night.

Friday night: Over by 9-ish. Another great session. More great stuff. So great, in fact, I found Poby afterward and told him I thought we had more writing to do. We went back to the room, pulled out the guitars, and started writing again. A few guys came through. We talked a lot about different stuff. Good time with Poby and with Chenson. Went to bed around midnight-ish (I think). Again, no time spent with the leadership.

Saturday morning: Skip breakfast and show up for the morning's session; the last one. Suddenly I'm hit with the feeling that I've completely missed out on something I was supposed to get. I didn't know what. I still don't. I just had knots in my stomach all morning long. What did I miss? Then the words came floating back into mind: Enter the fight. Had I entered the fight all weekend? I don't know. Suddenly, what was a fun weekend turned into a stressful, spiritual debate. What had I gotten out of the weekend? A song? More time with great guys I already spend a lot of time with? Had I served anybody throughout the weekend? Therein lied my answer. NO.

Realization: I had taken all weekend. Oh, sure, I ran the words for worship every session but the first, I went with Estevie (also a good friend, btw) to Guitar Center, listened to Poby and Chenson, but I never sacrificed anything all weekend. I never helped in the kitchen. I never took out the trash. I never helped any other guy with any other thing all weekend. I never did anything that I didn't want to do. It was a completely selfish weekend. Not the trait of a servant-leader. If that's the kind of leader I want to be, then I completely blew my chance that weekend. That is what I missed, and that is what felt so horrible.

Clarification: I LOVED hanging out with Pobias and Chenson. Always do. In fact, the song Pob and I wrote, we sang in church that Sunday. Our worship team is going to pick it up. Exciting stuff! I cherish that time we got to spend together. I know that was part of what God wanted me to get out of the weekend. I just wish I had taken extra time to seek out the leadership, to give to other guys, and entered the entire fight. You know, get everything God has for me.

So, my encouragement to you comes from Isaiah 55:6-9

6 Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near. 7 Let the wicked change their ways and banish the very thought of doing wrong. Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them. Yes, turn to our God, for he will
forgive generously.
8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. 9 For just as the heavens are higher than the
earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your
thoughts.

Just because you think you've got God figured out doesn't mean that you do. Seek Him. Ask Him. Be encouraged. Enter the fight.

Soli Deo Gloria